Too close to reality.
Note the date- January 30th. People think it’s written now because it sounds relevant, they just predicted his behavior
lawrseb Why you so worried about us American when you British people have enough problems of your own?
Get that man away from all of us, and into a Mental Hospital so he can receive a straight jacket & some serious help! Wow?!
ExaltedUterus We kept pointing out that the center is closer to the right on the political spectrum...
Fake news! Biden never uses potty mouth! The FakeNewsMedia should be ashamed of itself!
IrvineWelsh Democrats shooting themselves in the foot by choosing Joe Biden. Someone worse than the average political duds that came and went like Mitt Romney, John McCain, John Kerry etc.
About time, the voters love an honest politician.
😂😂😂😂😂
Why didn't voters pick my candidate
Damn if he's really like that he's got my vote
trying hard to make up for Uncle Joe
I mean, y’all in the onion writers room are exactly that
based
Lol go cry
😔
Christ what the fuck happened to the Onion?
Will he poke you with his finger or smell your hair? Call you a dog-faced pony soldier or encourage you to vote him into the Senate? It's all good...
When did the Onion just give up?
Jesus Christ you people need to look at hiring some new people.
You had a good run, but the Onion is becoming irrelevant, very quickly.
A better source than MSNBC at this point
Y’all are so clearly pro Bernie
CommieAngel lol.. These voters remind me of the independent voters of America...
TOO REAL.
he is a political pro
Wait, we're getting factual articles here now?
onion trying desperately to make up for 8 years of cool uncle joe posting
This didn’t happen
🤣
Satire is so obsolete nowadays in today's hellscape.
No Malarkey Tour has been a great success.
Well played.
kallllisti The onion is no longer satire.
I really wish you would stop reporting actual news...
march4progress The Onion has more journalistic integrity than cnn wtf is going on...
I miss when the onion was satire :(
I gotta say I'm a fan
Is he Italian?
Biden loves his Guns and his a Second Amendment - don’t mess with him Tucker !
ms_estarr PhillyFanRuns
So he gets an A for honesty....
numb3red Somehow the Borrowitz report has a more subtle take on issues
How about you guys support the presumptive nominee and just make more jokes about Trump. We're trynna save democracy here.
Fucking onion always nails it
Finally! Something I can relate to.
He tells it like it is 🤷♂️
Atrios 😂
Why can I picture him actually saying this...
About time
Is there a schedule here? Do you slam candidates on a week basis? Have you ever talked bad about Clinton's Why don't you start using satire as a means of pointing out issues from previous presidents.
When is going to start yelling at people to get off his lawn in an auditorium?
Reading the Post again, I see.
The onion is probably the only reliable news source during this election
Every single dnc socialist has said this.
Can't wait for Biden to challenge Trump to a round of push-ups after his teeth fall out again during a debate.
The tone police says this is actually good now.
We’re all pieces of shit the only difference is how big the pile is
I like it 👍
Well this will go to the articles of the onion that predicted the future
to be fair, if all of the dissenters die, the party will be united
This will be re-Tweeted as truth, before COB today.
That man ain't right.
I thought you guys were satire?
TARMAN_245 And that's no malarkey!
WitteFor Lies
He just insulted a woman on camera , it's as if Biden was working for the onion
Listen fat
NYCNavid
This is so irresponsible. How many people are going to think this is real.
You could replace'Biden' with 'Bernie Sanders supporter' and it would be even more dead-on. 😂😄
danae2020
bcollinsk “Look, Shit....”
Finally. I thought only Cory Booker talked like that. GO JOE!
Go JOE Biden2020
I agree.
Fultz4Feminism
This one's not even that far of a stretch
he tells it like it is
Roman_Profile
Inspirational
Truth in fiction
Waffles_Sprouts When the onion could be real tbh 😅
ASBAFfr
🤣
kathrynacullen 😳🙀😂😭🤭
the dear late vice-president.
When did the Onion stop being funny? It’s been a while
Look, fat.
Weirdly realistic
LOL
And if you lived in the Ukraine my son would shut off your gas, so there!
lol
Can you do something like Donald trump claims midgets are gay
Aww...that's just senile Joe being friendly... WaitUntilHeDroolsOnYourFeet
[applause from crowd]
Suspicious xD
sorry but i have to actually hear him say this myself.. personally i think it’s bullshit..
'And more fucking Taco trucks on every corner - that shit is lit!'
Good ol Uncle Joe 😂😂
RELATED: Trump Accuses Biden of Stealing His Brand
Can anyone tell me why Biden isn't a Republican?
I see that The Onion has decided on their preferred candidate.
Extremely factual
How soon until Burno Bros repeating this as fact.
We’re basically getting there.
“I hope your family dies in an automobile wreck”
No Malarkey!
He's such a charmer, that Biden.
More coherent than actual Joe Biden
Hey snopes please check on this. 🤔
😂 thank you for this, 🙏🏽
parkeewah This is satire! I wish people would not post this kind of crap fake news. Many do not realize that The Onion is satire.😢
JeannieGiering I think this guy is not fit for the Presidency.Where is the liberal communist media to report this? Quid Pro Quo Creepy Joe also said he needed a VP that can do the President’s job because he was old. POTUS marklevinshow GOPChairwoman rushlimbaugh seanhannity TuckerCarlson
LOL! RockySly9
gatewaypundit Biden rallies seem to be held in classrooms and day rooms in nursing homes.
gatewaypundit 🤣🤣🤣
gatewaypundit Where is the video of this ?
gatewaypundit these day’s u have to look twice to see if this is satire or not lol
gatewaypundit Ahh that feeling you get when you arent sure if something the Onion writes is satire or true. 🤣😂 Don Lemon showed us what the left thinks of average americans.
gatewaypundit Winning over the masochist voters.
gatewaypundit If this is really a true story of things JoeBiden said, I have to think that his brain and heart has been overtaken by pure panic. He has to know that Ukraine is about to be totally exposed. Among other things.
gatewaypundit 😂🤣😂🤣👍🏽
gatewaypundit Art imitates life?
gatewaypundit The onion no less
People! It's the Onion! Satire! What's wrong with you!
sjs052067 This is The Onion!🙄
What a damn made up lie
lefty_archaeo I feel kind of sorry for him. With every day, I understand why Obama said 'You don't have to do this, Joe'. Were I a coke head that got the boot from the reserves, I would want a dad like him. I would just try to stop his bragging.
AaronCampeau You probably need to point out that this is satire…
prayersup 4 demunity 🙏
That's it for Joe Biden!
Remember when the onion was funny?
This, but unironically
...As he poked him hard in the chest.
lmao
That sounds suspiciously like one of my campaign speeches.
Joe is the boomer of boomers.
You're gonna get fact checked by snopes for this.😡😡😡
thestreeter Sounds like a millennial with those debate skills.
Pretty sure this will happen if it hasn't yet
redsteeze Confession: I believed this was a serious headline the first time I read it....
redsteeze Phetasy
mustve been a berner in a red hat
Lol.
Alright who here is gonna get wooooshed
Bern2Bern Is he lecturing at a school I love sarcasm but um this will probably be twisted against us
HillaryFan420 “Listen, listen, shit ...”
It’s just hard to tell if this is parody or not
oh man I just realized that No Malarkey sign and the Ridin With Biden signs are probably real and not stuff your graphics team made up
🤣🤣
daveanthony I thought the onion was fake news
I skimmed this before fully scrolling up to see it was The Onion. And up until that moment I realized it, I wasn't even really that surprised 😂
genofthesea The onion is doing straight news now?
Biden's bold new initiative to court the youth vote.
monad1010 Choice laughs!!
Really? Bring back the Camaro...and comedy.
Lmao
Gee wiz guys this story smells like malarkey.
Okay. I'm with Joe, now. This is the brave message we need!😅
Biden playing for the crucial Bob Chipman And Nobody Else vote
Wow😂
HOW IS HE EVEN RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT
nate_strasser
A refreshing bit of honesty.
Chinchillazllla Look, Fat
I hope it isn’t Biden but let’s be honest 4 more years of Diamond Joe would be amazing
MatthewCallaway Well. That got my vote...
cotchinsoda You’ve got to admire the Democrats they keep putting forward ning Nong nominees and wonder why they can’t win?
Biden keeps his pockets full of sand which he uses to throw into peoples eyes and blind them. Its poor form.
now this is a biden i can vote for
I thought the onion was satire
YOU WANNA DO SOME PUSHUPS, PAL?
🤣🤣😂 Great article! 👍🏾
He’s inching close to that
BernMaestro Biden is a Republican
Truth is stranger than fiction£
Biden is a walking Onion article at this point.
Waiting for the Sanders campaign people on your staff to take a shot at this:
Would be great
The leadership we need
BethLynch2020 You forgot to add ' Don't vote for me'. He really likes to say that to potential voters when questioned about corruption, past records, and vague platform.
JohnnyCarcinogn Accurate
Babylon Bee TheBabylonBee has been stealing your thunder lately. Glad to see that you're back in the game.
😲😲😁😁😁
This is neither news or satire.
JordanUhl The onion is writing from the future again.
If my encounter with Joe Biden in Iowa recently is partly responsible for this story, why thank you. Happy to help.:)
You give me so much life! I'm just living for this!
Hes gonna Shoot His Mouth Off To The Wrong Guy
JordanUhl
TrueFactsStated If that an actual true story, Biden would win in a landslide. Many of these shit-stirrers that are sent to campaign events to disrupt should be called out.
GingerAle1991
TrueFactsStated behindyourback did you write this one?👀
from video ive seen of his 'rallys', this is legit. he doesnt give a shit, he doesnt want to be doing this.
BrentWelder At least it would be a coherent sentence.
TrueFactsStated I would caucus for Biden just to piss off Trump. IACaucus
TrueFactsStated 'Stirring'? Profane and over the line!
Bring back Diamond Joe, cowards
...And then added
😆
I chuckled.I kind of wish he’d say that and just get his campaign over with.
at this rate someone is gonna compliment him and then he's just gonna fucking spew his organs at them in rage
Gives me no pleasure to say this is accurate.
And you will to, he says, under his breath, as he's leaving auditorium. Medicare for all, yeah right!
Biden thinking he can a-hole his way to the White House like Trump is the equivalent of when Republicans thought Ben Carson could beat Obama.
This the type of shit Trump said 4 years ago and we expected it to be satire. Hardee har.
Tommy__McNamara
Sounds on brand
It really getting hard to distinguish onion from other news lol
That was a Bernie supporter, right? Deservingly so and it would be appropriate (though not very nice).
You guys stopped being funny when you suddenly got all teary eyed that people enjoyed your previous Biden content and decided to overcorrect.
'Listen, fat... go vote for someone else.'
I bet he could beat me in a pushups contest.
hundsnus Joe certainly knows how to win friends and influence enemies! No wait... he just literally puts a gun to their head... “fire him or else”
The world is a corrupt joke, this had killed parody, you are irrelevant
Listen here, fat....
He’s always threatening to punch people right in the face.
on point yet again. Biden seems to think that Trump tactics will work on Dem. voters. FYI, they won’t.
'We're Done Ridin With Biden' 😂
Really rugs at the heart ❤️
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