You have the power to create the life you want to lead.

You can't move forward in your life if you are clinging to your past.To what do you aspire? Who do you want to be, and what kind of life do you want to lead? To be happy, successful, impactful, rich, famous, loved? We all want to find and experience that elusive “Holy Grail” that we believe will fulfill our aspirations. However, as is commonly expressed in both ancient philosophical thought and modern-daydogma, “once you get there, there is no there.

Without letting go of this baggage from our past, finding meaning, satisfaction, joy, and connection in our present lives is nearly impossible. Of course, freeing yourself from your baggage is no small feat because these burdens that we may have been carrying around with us for years not only produce deeply ingrained habits but also are wired into our brains. The result is that our baggage is highly resistant to change.

Perhaps the most common way people try to figure out what they value is to sit down and make a list of everything they believe in and then pick the ones that they believe are most important to them. At the same time, I’ve found this approach tends to make us choose values that wehave. I have found the best way to know your values is to see what you devote your time, energy, and money to. Once you know your values, you can then make choices to live the life you want to lead based on those values.

Some years later, I realized that designing one’s destiny came down to simply making deliberate choices. Particularly these days in the age of the internet, it is easy to be influenced by the dominant messages of our popular culture . With this influence, we often abdicate the choices we make to others. Even worse, many of these “choices” that are imposed on us are not only unhealthy but they also are downright toxic.

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