You Can Probably Have Sex 6 Weeks After Giving Birth—But You Don’t Have to. And it Might Suck

, you may be cleared to have intercourse again. The cervix generally doesn’t close fully for around six weeks, so up until that point, there’s the risk of introducing bacteria into the uterus and ending up with an infection, Pari Ghodsi, M.D., a board-certified ob/gyn based in Los Angeles, tells SELF. In addition, stitches to repair vaginal tears could open up, and, if you had a C-section, “pressure of someone on top of you could lead to uterine rupture,” Dr. Ghodsi says.

The reality is that at six weeks post-birth, it may not go well, regardless of whether you had a vaginal delivery or a C-section, says Jawed-Wessel. When I spoke with other new moms about this, I heard a lot of variations on the same theme: Some felt this pressure to be intimate again as soon as possible, but their bodies or minds weren't quite there yet.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s just a new norm. “Life is just different now and it takes time to adapt to these changes,” Jawed-Wessel says. “When you throw in other common challenges like postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression, all of this can be quite a challenge, and sex is likely not a priority and that’s ok.”

Communication can go a long way between couples with a new baby when it comes to, well, everything—and it’s no different with sex.

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