Yes, I'm pregnant, but that doesn't mean my body is up for discussion

. If I’d had more “mom friends,” other women who had experienced this, I might have understood that, far from being singled out, I was experiencing the same “helpful” feedback that many mothers-to-be enjoy . From my Facebook post, I learned that my running friend was told by her obstetrician during an examination that she was “what we’d call a really good heifer.” Someone asked a former co-worker if it was awful being so deformed.

Ultimately—and after I was no longer pregnant—I reached the conclusion that people say things because they want to be involved, or because they want to seem wise—or maybe they’re just giant jerks. Whatever the reason, moms deserve more consideration and compassion. So here’s my advice: if you have to say something to a pregnant woman, tell her she looks radiant. If you must give advice to a mom, tell her she’s doing a great job. Parenting is heavy lifting, regardless of whether the baby is on the inside or the outside—we’d all do well to make that burden a little bit lighter when we can.

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