Woman Envious of Garfield's Metabolism After Seeing Him Swallow Whole Lasagna

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 37 sec. here
  • 8 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 39%
  • Publisher: 51%

Entertainment News

Woman,Envy,Garfield

A local woman expresses envy towards Garfield's ability to eat without gaining weight after witnessing him swallow a whole lasagna in one gulp.

Pushing around a limp salad in a bowl, local woman Danielle Guerra reportedly sighed and said, “I wish I had your metabolism,” Monday upon seeing Garfield swallow a whole lasagna in one gulp.

“You’re so lucky that you can eat that stuff all the time and not gain any weight,” Guerra said as her eyes moved over the syndicated comic strip’s third panel, in which a two-dimensional cartoon cat opens his mouth wide enough to toss in the contents of a deep casserole dish and swallow with a denoted “gulp.” “What’s your secret? Must be genetics, since you’ve made your disdain for exercise quite clear over the years. I used to be able to eat like that in my 20s, but now I can barely swallow one layer of pasta, sauce, and cheese whole, let alone five at a time.” At press time, Guerra reportedly stuck to her diet by opting instead for a whole fish, pulling its intact skeleton out of her mouth as she licked her lips

Woman Envy Garfield Metabolism Lasagna Weight Gain

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.
We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in US

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Chris Pratt Is Garfield and Snoop Dogg Is a Cat in ‘The Garfield Movie’ TrailerChris Pratt stars in the latest movie based on the comic about the lasagna-loving cat.
Source: screencrushnews - 🏆 544. / 51 Read more »

15 Darkest Garfield Minus Garfield Strips (So Far)All the latest movie news, movie trailers & reviews - and the same for TV, too.
Source: screenrant - 🏆 7. / 94 Read more »

Man, 67, and woman, 65, wounded in Garfield Park shooting, police sayA pair in their 60s were rushed to area hospitals after they were shot Saturday afternoon in Garfield Park, according to Chicago police.
Source: ChicagoBreaking - 🏆 521. / 51 Read more »

American man admits to killing Naperville woman, attacking another Illinois woman near German castleAttack occurred near a bridge over a gorge that offers a view of Neuschwanstein, one of Germany’s most famous tourist attractions.
Source: ChicagoBreaking - 🏆 521. / 51 Read more »

Messed-up metabolism during development may lead guts to coil the wrong wayTadpoles exposed to a metabolism-disrupting herbicide had malformed intestines, providing clues to a human condition called intestinal malrotation.
Source: ScienceNews - 🏆 286. / 63 Read more »

What Is Metabolism?Metabolism is a series of processes that control the storage and use of energy in your body. Learn how that affects your lifestyle, how your lifestyle affects your metabolism, and more.
Source: WebMD - 🏆 709. / 51 Read more »