“You may not agree with the direction, you may not think it’s the most effective path, you might have input that you think is useful for me to consider as I’m making the decision. But when I say, ‘I need you to,’ it’s more likely to be interpreted as ‘there is no room for conversation here,’” she said.
Instead of saying “I need you to” or “I want you to,” Gallaher suggested saying “I would like you to do X, Y, Z. What do you think?” because this phrasing explicitly creates room for the person to provide their input. If you’re a manager, you should recognize that your requests will be prioritized. And when you don’t make it clear“I need” is also a statement that is focused solely on your own purposes, and can be off-putting and rude to hear. To motivate people to fulfill your request, it’s better to make it clear how doing so helps the larger bottom line ― not just you personally.
'Can you please...?' works too. Figure out the end goal and how to get it done.
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