Why The Manipulative Tactic of 'Negging' Hurts So Bad

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These insults in social settings can sting: how to spot negging.

also find that negging harms the giver’s likability, making it a lose-lose situation for all involved.

Yet, despite its detrimental outcomes, negging continues to be a common occurrence. So, what drives people to engage in this toxic behavior? Here’s what research has to say.​​While flattery generally has positive outcomes, backhanded compliments are confusing, as they create a mismatch between the intended flattery and the actual perception of the receiver.

Discomforting statements like, “You're smarter than you look” or “You're pretty funny, for a girl,” even when they are well-intended, can come across as condescending or insulting, causing discomfort and offense rather than flattery.that aimed to understand why people give backhanded compliments, participants were asked to choose between giving a straightforward compliment or a backhanded compliment to elicit liking, conveying status, or both.

The researchers found that while very few chose backhanded compliments when asked to elicit liking, over 4 in 5 chose backhanded compliments when they wanted to convey status—suggesting that there might be a power struggle at play when someone engages in “negging” to subtly assert their superiority.Recent studies suggest that another reason for negging could be a sense of insecurity.

Participants in this study were presented with scenarios involving a coworker after receiving either a positive or negative evaluation from their supervisor. Results showed that when participants received a negative evaluation , they were significantly more likely to choose a backhanded compliment when interacting with a coworker.

 

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