Why Straight Bros Are Important to Gay Guys

, a subreddit for gay men. This transcript of their conversation has been condensed and edited for clarity.What is it exactly that you expect to get out of a straight male friendship that you wouldn’t otherwise get from someone else, like maybe a gay friend?I think we find ourselves more comfortable with people who are similar to us, so having a friendship with a gay man, I am going to automatically have conversations that are different than a friendship with a straight man.

I mean, I’m not a straight man, so I don’t get the experience of being a straight man, for better or worse, but I think being able to have strong and impactful relationships with straight men allows me to ask those questions, allows me to process my own masculinity in a frame that I wouldn’t otherwise have.Yeah. I get that. But I want to just gently push back here.

You know, it could be a few things. I’ll say from my personal experience, my desire for straight friends when I was younger was me trying to get rid of a fear I had that I was in some way rejected by the group in power, the majority, because I felt very confidently that I had value and that I had a lot to contribute to the world.Sam was saying that he felt like the reason he wants to reach out past his circle of gay friends is that he felt like his sexuality was only part of him.

But I think a part of this is because so many people find each other online … and particularly a lot of gay men find a majority of their friends online, because apps and any sort of online resources are really the only easy way to figure out who is gay and who isn’t unless you have the world’s best gaydar.

What I realized was, when you step out of the apps and the gay bars, there’s actually a huge amount of gay men out there who are interested in other things, who have interests and friend groups as diverse as straight men. There’s gay gamers who are really into video games and board games.

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