And yet here I am, on my knees learning to be still, at his command, finally open and vulnerable enough with someone and myself to admit that this isn’tNo, this is how my sexuality works and manifests: I am what is known in the BDSM community as a “switch” – someone who can be either submissive or dominant, though I much prefer to be led. I have accepted it. Finding someone else who does has been harder, and it is constantly testing what I embrace in myself..
Still, they were better than the Dom/dommes and couples who wanted to humiliate me as a way of engaging in racist fantasies of violating and harming Black women, without. Navigating kink and seeing only white women lovingly collared while confronted with images of Black submissives of all genders being brutalized left me afraid the kind of D/s relationship I wanted was just not available to me.
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