Why Breaking Up Is So Hard to Do

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'It’s in our nature to progress forward in relationships, and even if we try to resist, our genes and our social networks push us onward anyway'

, Canadian psychologists Samantha Joel and Geoff MacDonald argue that most people simply move through the various stages of relationship building without any serious consideration of whether their partner is right for them in the long run. They refer to this tendency to keep moving forward in a relationship as progressionJoel and MacDonald point out that people can easily describe what their ideal partner would be like.

At the evolutionary level, it makes sense that those who enter into a committed intimate relationship are more likely to have offspring, and thus pass on their, than those who don’t. If you hold out until you find someone who meets your ideal, you may never mate at all. Once a couple starts dating, they go through the processes of infatuation and attachment. People quickly fall in love with partners they just started dating, and this infatuation helps drive the relationship to higher and higher levels of commitment. Even after infatuation fades, attachment keeps the couple bound together.

 

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