Why a Mother Doesn’t Want to Be Touched

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'I sat next to Mel, put my arms around her, and kissed her cheek. And as much as I wanted her to turn and embrace me, she didn’t. She kept her body slightly rigid, hands forward on the keyboard.'

I’d gotten home from work around 10 p.m. after a 14-hour day. It was the start of the term, and I was setting up some programs at the university. Mel, my wife, had been home all day with three sick, boogery, feverish kids.

I sat next to Mel, put my arms around her, and kissed her cheek. And as much as I wanted her to turn and embrace me, she didn’t. She kept her body slightly rigid, hands forward on the keyboard.“I just spent all day with sick boogery kids clawing at me. I don’t want to be touched for a while. I just…want some space,” she said.

At the mention of being held, Mel cringed a little. Once again, I was offended. I usually am when this happens. And it doesn’t happen all that often, but always more than I’d like. But it was late, and I didn’t want to fight.This was not the first time Mel had said that she didn’t want to be touched because of the kids clawing at her all day. Honestly, I didn’t get it. I don’t know if I ever fully will. For me, as a man, it’s a difficult thing for me to wrap my head around.

 

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