Who Should Pay For Dates? How Chivalry Contributes To The Gender Pay Gap

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Here's a conversation starter just in time for ValentinesDay: Who should pay for dates? Here's how male chivalry may be contributing to the gender pay gap.

, men tend to pick up the majority of expenses and report feeling guilty taking money from women.

These women who appreciate chivalry also fear their own successes will make themselves less attractive to men. Thinking that a potential husband would be threatened by a successful wife, they shy away from putting too much effort into pursuing a career. In a time when we’re trying to inspire young girls and women into new fields and career paths, this is clearly counterproductive.

Men have a difficult time breaking the cycle as well. Straight men who fail to pay for dates risk being viewed as cheap or uninterested. Onefound that women viewed men’s chivalry, like paying for dates, as a sign that the man was respectful and caring. Even feminist men have good reason to refrain from bucking the norm and asking a woman to pay.

Some have suggested in straight relationships that payment is transactional, and that men choose to pay to increase the likelihood the couple will engage in sex. However, in aof over 17,000 people, only one in six men believed that women should engage in sexual activity if the man pays the bill on a date. This indicates that for the large majority, paying for dates is not transactional. Instead, it’s part of a stubborn cultural norm that suggests women need and deserve protective care from men.

 

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The one who asks. For subsequent dates, you can more or less alternate unless there’s a huge income or taste disparity, in which case you talk it out. ::shrug::. The point is to keep it fair. Lets you focus on whether or not you actually like the other person :).

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