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In season two, Emily learns her daughter is getting married when one of Lorelai’s friends calls her to confirm her availability for. Emily bemoans to Richard, “Our daughter is getting married. She’s getting married and she didn’t tell us.” Yet, while Lorelai and Rory’s characters have been reduced to “demon spawns” countless times over the internet, recently I’ve seen more Reddit threads describing Emily as a “textbook abusive narcissist”, placing the blame for their failing relationship firmly on her shoulders. As someone who grew up with a mother with extreme narcissistic tendencies myself, I completely agree. Growing up, my mother controlled every aspect of my life and tried to manipulate me when things didn’t go her way.
This could easily be deemed cruel and thoughtless behavior by Lorelai, but I know better than some that it’s an impossible situation to win. When Lorelai replies, “I don’t know how to tell you things, Mom. When something good happens to me, I’m just afraid you’re gonna make me feel bad about it. And when something bad happens to me, I’m always afraid you’ll say, ‘I told you so’.”weekend with her.
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