I was a guest on a podcast a while ago where I was given hypothetical phrases from my wife, and I was supposed let them know how I’d respond. Naturally, this was a situation where I was asked to speak for all husbands, a place I’ve found myself in a number of times since I became a dad blogger.
It was the sounds from the host that really gave it away. It was one of those painful sounds, the sound a person makes when someone unwittingly did a bone-headed thing. It was in that moment I realized I’d been doing something wrong for literally years. Is “wrong” the right word? I don’t know. Because I hadn’t done anything malicious. I hadn’t committed a sin or a crime or anything like that. I wasn’t going to jail.
This all came to a head later that day, after work, as Mel was working on dinner, and I was putting my lunch dishes in the washer. I turned around to ask how her day was. She made this hard eye contact, one hand on her hip, and said, “Are you going to take out the trash?” She paused for a moment. Then she said, “You know what, never mind, I’ll get it.”I smiled. She didn’t. Then I took out the trash.
Does this make me a bad guy? I don’t think so. I hope not. In the grand scheme of marriage and family, this is a pretty small thing. But that’s the funny thing about being with someone for 5, 10, 20, 40 years, little things start to add up, and suddenly you find yourself cluelessly sleeping on the sofa, the whole night tossing and turning because you’re not sure what you did wrong.
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