When I’m Gaming, I Can Stop Being a People Pleaser and Embrace My Anger

I sneak up quietly—I have special boots that don’t make a sound—and plunge my dagger into the soft tissue. Then I fold into the shadows.

In popular culture as well as the gaming and fantasy world, rogues are often characterized by quick wit or malevolent silence, cunning and charisma, deft hands and fast feet, and skill with sharp objects. You will probably find them drunk at the tavern or hiding in dark corners. They’re out for personal gain but often advocate for the marginalized or downtrodden. They operate by their own code and are fiercely independent.

I have hidden in the bathroom at a favorite restaurant while my friend kindly informed the waiter that the food wasn’t up to its usual standards. I have avoided calling the doctor when I was very sick because I didn’t want to “bother him.” I am “terribly sorry” when returning things to the store. I ignore street harassers when I want nothing more than to kick them in the scrotum.

But sometimes it’s hard to face conflict even when using these productive methods. Especially if you’ve been raised to feel like your emotions are frivolous or catastrophic—or both—it can be difficult to assert your needs. You start to feel invisible and crazy.Over the holidays, a family member said something I considered cruel. My husband and I were telling Bob we had chosen a name for our still-in-utero son in order to honor my beloved, deceased aunt.

While rogues are often seen as cool customers, I like to think that anger is part of their well-stocked arsenal along with a stiletto and lock-picking kit. They just know how to channel it for maximum effect.

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