When I Had Sex in the ’90s, “Vanilla” Meant Something Very Different Than It Seems to Now

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Dear How to Do It: I’d like to know when we decided these sex acts were “vanilla.”

: Yes, as being basically vanilla at this point.: And vanilla status frequently makes an act less likely to be discussed beforehand or— asked approval for.: ”Everyone seems kinkier than ever—and if everyone is kinky, does that mean everyone is actually just vanilla?” writes Iovine. That’s something of an eternal question given the moving targets.

”: So we have something concrete for our writer: Vanilla, as originally defined, did not at the time include oral or anal sex, and now does include oral.: In Iovine’s survey, which was open-ended , “anal” had the highest response number for not vanilla—70 percent of respondents listed it. However, I would say that among gay men, anal is not kinky. I consider myself vanilla, and I think most would, and I am no stranger to anal.

 

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