When Did I Stop Prioritizing Finding a Partner?

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“Getting married and moving to a pretty suburb might once have been viewed as ‘winning,’ but that doesn’t feel like the case anymore. The good life is the one where you’re untethered,” says one Vogue writer.

“Let’s do something next week?” he asked me at the end of the date and, when I said yes, I meant it. But, when he texted me the following Monday to find out when I was free, we quickly reached a deadlock.

A few days later, I was talking to my mum on the phone. I told her about my scheduling difficulties, and she sighed in a way that let me know she thought my priorities were in the wrong place. “In my day, people would do pretty much anything to go on a date,” she said, and then paused for a moment because she could tell she was annoying me. “But then people weren’t as social back then. In the ’70s, pubs shut at 10:30pm. People would have a couple of after-work drinks and then go home.

—now end with the idea that the main love story is actually the one you share with your friends, rather than a romantic partner. Or, as Charlotte suggests to the rest of the girls in: “Maybe we could be each other’s soulmates? And then we could let men be just these great nice guys to have fun with.” Our careers are more important to us than ever. And, when we’re not working, there’s this pressure to make the most of every minute of our social lives—especially those of us who live in cities.

 

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