Photo: Jade/Getty Images/Blend Images The men who harass me know three things: I’m Chinese-American, my husband is white, and our son is multiracial. You hate Asian men, they insist; you hate your own child. You hate yourself. I once received 27 tweets — calling me everything from “irrelevant” to “liar” to “coward” to “neglectful gaslighting mother” — in 48 hours, from one person. I save these messages in a folder on my computer to document the abuse.
On Reddit, users speculate freely about Asian women’s sexual relationships. “Perhaps she settled for a black guy because she couldn’t snag a white boyfriend?” suggests a thread on writer Jenn Fang, who is the founder of the Asian-American blog Reappropriate — and is married to a black man. Another reads: “She probably dated a village of White guys before she dated the black guy to be ‘edgy’ and further her SJW career.
Although the messages come from many users, one particular subgroup on Reddit seems to be the root for most of this harassment. Writers Mimi Wong, journalist Clarissa Wei, and the vast majority of women I spoke to for this piece were all targeted after being highlighted on “AZNidentity” — which frequently calls out Asian women its members disapprove of.
Asian men face long-standing stereotypes that they’re socially awkward, unmasculine, or sexually unattractive, and these perceptions often put them at a disadvantage, from academics to work to dating apps. From their posts, it’s clear that Asian men like those on AZNidentity believe they’re fighting a constant battle against a culture that’s out to get them.
Read even a small sample of messages and you’ll notice they focus overwhelmingly on who an Asian woman chooses as a sexual partner. While Asian men in interracial relationships face this as well — Eddie Huang has tweeted, “my dm box and LIFE is full of azn women that come at me for having dated non-Asian women and its foul” — the harassment is directed almost exclusively, and most viciously, at Asian women in relationships with non-Asian men.
In their messages, these harassers often claim Asian women don’t care about the issues facing Asian men, or even that they believe the stereotypes. But for the women I interviewed, the opposite was true. Nearly every woman acknowledged how hard it was to be an Asian man.
pronounced_ing This is absolutely not the time to dig up this 2018 article by celesteng and further dividing the Asian community when we are hurting. Especially since it’s probably one of the few written by an AAPI person... ◉_◉
pronounced_ing So now u r directing the focus on Asian-American men over the white man who killed 8 ppl?
Now do black men harassing black women for the same reason, but finding it perfectly acceptable for themselves to date or impregnate white women thanks.
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