What It's Like to Date When You're Nonbinary

based on appearance, there can be a lot of obstacles for nonbinary people who aren't recognized by cisgender people.

As a nonbinary person, sex can be tricky. It’s important to know what you like and to express that with anyone you may be engaging with sexually. You still deserve pleasure and you deserve to have satisfying sex. Try not to sleep with people who fetishize your identity. It may seem harmless but it’s actually quite transphobic, and that kind of violence often becomes routine and perpetuated in more ways than sexually, which puts you in danger.

I’d like to remind all nonbinary people that they are valid, no matter what comment they ever hear or read says. It’s so important to have confidence in yourself and to put yourself first. You must believe yourself and not believe those who oppose you. Don’t change. Don’t be challenged. There’s no right way to be nonbinary, so don’t be worried if it’s questioned or challenged, you’re the one who understands how your identity works.

Date other trans people. Go find queer clubs and groups and whatever you can. If you discover a Facebook group for local queer folks, and especially trans folks, you've just found a large pool of possible dates. As optimistic as I want to be, it’s hard to overlook the dangers of dating in a closed-minded society. That’s a valid concern, but there is hope. People like us can have a happy and healthy ending. Don’t place your self-worth on [romantic] relationships, true love can come in the form of something platonic.

This is going to sound cliché, but first you have to love yourself. Feel entitled to love and being loved, because we are all worthy of love.When I realized I was nonbinary, my partner at the time was confused and just wanted me to go back to “being a girl.” When it comes to dating, unfortunately, I tend to end up with straight men, even though I am not a woman.

Finding a soul mate who identifies as a Xerox copier is a nightmare. Why is life so unfair?

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