over the past year or so, and lockdowns have left those facing heartbreak feeling more alone than ever. a pandemic… I was just so sad,” says Nora. While she had the support of friends and family, she explains that it’s just “not the same” speaking through a phone screen. Eimer can relate. “All I had was waking up every day in my own head, living the same day over and over. Lockdown was really hard, so TikTok was an outlet.
Floriana understands why some might rely more on TikTok for support, but she has serious doubts over the extent to which this can help. “In a pandemic, we can’t get many face-to-face interactions, so someone might rely more on social media,” she says. “But this absolutely cannot be a replacement for deep human interactions, especially when we are grieving, as that’s when we need it the most. Broadcasting one’s emotions is not enough to process and understand what we are feeling and why.
Interestingly, Nora never actually intended for anyone else to see her first video. “I had seven followers, and they were all, like, my cousins,” she says. Even if their follower counts had remained in the single digits and that swell of online support hadn’t been there, social psychologist Tara Marshall believes that the very act of creating videos would still have had a healing effect. “Documenting heartbreak may help the creator to make sense of the breakup.
Floriana adds that it’s essential to find balance when going through a breakup. “Grieving is an important part of the healing process, and is absolutely necessary. But other steps are needed: reflecting on what led to the breakup, and finding distractions from it.” Now that Nora and Eimer are in much better places emotionally, they both look back on their documentation of the past few months fondly. For them, it’s a testament to how far they’ve come, and an inspiration to others going through the same. “The most human thing is to connect over shared experiences,” says Nora. “And it's just a new platform to do so. It sounds so silly but that community of people really did change my life.
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