Weird Toast Will Save You When You Don't Know What To Eat

I have a cousin who is famous in the family for prowling the kitchen as a teen and saying, “We don’t have any food. We only have ingredients.” Teenagers are the worst, but I often relate to their relentless hunger and aversion to any type of effort. Luckily, I am not a teenager. I am now taller, more resourceful, and my own bread-winner and maker. So when I’m surrounded by ingredients but can’t be hassled to prepare a full-blown meal, I turn to weird toast. Weird toast is there for me.

It’s a light meal, wholesome, and satisfying. The best ingredients for weird toast are the healthy perishables of your fridge, the guilt-making vegetables that are moments from going bad. Why must herbs be sold in unreasonable quantities? No one has told me. When the big bunch of parsley is wilting below a net of tangerines, rescue it. Pile it up on some rye. Sprinkle a little feta, squeeze a lemon. That’s weird toast.

It’s all very easy to do. Put your slice in the toaster first. As your bread is carbonizing, assess your fridge for toppings. Pick one dominant element and then, two sidekicks. You’ve got a few artichoke hearts that have been floating sadly in a jar for like a week? Get ‘em out of there. Find some nice mayo and a few Mesclun greens. Try using the green tarragon mustard that someone gave you as a gift. Weird toast should be salty, unexpected.

healthy_ish Miso paste on toast 🤪 way too weird for me

healthy_ish Weird Toast is a band name for sure

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