Here they open up about their unconventional family set-up – believed to be the first of its kind in the world Natasha When I was 36 and working as a professor of law at the University of Ottawa, I was at a stage where I knew I wanted to have children. I was single, but there was no reason for me not to have a child, as I was in a good place in my life and financially stable.
By the time he was one, he had been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, epilepsy and cortical visual impairment, which means he may see colours and proportions differently to the rest of us. Later he was also diagnosed with asthma and sleep apnoea. That was a very difficult time. The truth is you have certain expectations of childrearing and can’t ever prepare for all the possibilities. I was also completely sleep-deprived.
In the end, Lynda didn’t officially adopt Elaan because that option wasn’t legally available to us, as we’re not spouses. We could have challenged that legislation, but it would have been really expensive. So instead, with our expertise in law, we decided to do a declaration of parentage, which required affidavits from family and experts about Lynda’s parenting of Elaan. Within a few months, we received a positive result.
Elaan sleeps in my apartment, but he has a wheelchair and other equipment at Lynda’s, as well as books, toys and clothes, so it’s very much home for him there too. He calls me Mama and Lynda Lyndie-Mom. At the start she was Auntie Lyndie, but as she parented more, she gradually became Lyndie-Mom. It’s nicer for her and Elaan, but also connotes her relationship with Elaan to others.
That first year was challenging and we went through a lot together, like when there was a chance he wouldn’t make it. As university professors we have flexibility in our schedules, so I was able to be there for her a lot, especially during all the medical stuff. But looking back, what really brought us closer together was the fun of spending time together with Elaan.
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