We Didn’t Go To Counseling And I Regret It

Maybe it would have saved our marriage.Like most marriages that end in divorce, ours came crashing down a little bit at a time. Most of us don’tand decide to end our relationship. It happens over years. One of you pulls away; the other lets you go. You stop making each other a priority if it feels too hard. You start to imagine your life without that person. And one of my big regrets is that when the cycle started, we didn’t at least try counseling.

Or maybe if my ex-husband didn’t work so much we’d be okay. I used to tell him that instead of going out with his friends, he should stay home and make me more of a priority. He’d tell me he wanted more out of life and he wanted to experience more things together. Then I’dI see clearly now, almost eight years after our separation, that just because he and the kids were enough for me, that didn’t mean that he should stop doing things that he loved.

Of course, there’s a chance that it wouldn’t have. But now, so much time has gone by and my ex-husband is in a serious relationship. I see how he’s changed for the better. We’ve both learned so much, and it’s shaped us for the better., and the not-knowing kind of wrecks me. The what-ifs fill my head. We were in love but everything just went sideways.

Turns out, there are a lot of times when I regret not trying harder. Because even if it didn’t save us, at least I’d be able to say we tried everything. I wonder if a therapist could have helped us have more empathy and compassion. Or maybe they would have made us see we had grown apart and weren’t a good fit anymore.

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