Watch Michael Bloomberg Try to Shake Hands With a Dog’s Mouth

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A note to the former mayor: You shake a dog’s paw, not its upper jaw.

Michael Bloomberg. Photo: Oli Scarff/Getty Images Michael Bloomberg’s aversion to dogs has been public knowledge for nearly a decade now, following a 2011 New York Times account describing the former mayor’s Scrooge-like reaction to his girlfriend Diana Taylor’s golden Christmas gift of two yellow labs. “The dogs could stay,” Bloomberg reportedly told her, “but she would be looking after them.

With his eye — and more importantly, his wallet — trained on winning the Democratic primary, the wealthiest 2020 hopeful apparently hasn’t yet learned to appreciate or treat a candidate’s best friend. Practicing some retail-politic hand-shaking in Burlington, Vermont, Bloomberg forgot a day-one dog-school lesson: They shake by adorably offering one of their paws, not by submitting a person to tug on their upper jaw.

And according to a photo dug up by Washington Post reporter, Aaron Blake, the greeting appears to be a repeat offense: If Bloomberg’s historic spending unexpectedly thrusts him to the top of the ballot in November, there will at least be something for the Democratic and Republican candidates to bond over, aside from having literal tons of money. Perhaps more-so than the former mayor, Trump consistently looks uncomfortable around dogs, has no idea what their company is actually for, and once reportedly told his secretary that Mike Pence’s decision to bring his pets to D.C. was “low-class.

 

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Bloomberg is wagging the dog.

'Freaky dreams?' Lance Weiler asked. 'After I went through the windshield in a head-on collision w/ a garbage truck? I would say my dreams were less freaky than they are lucid. Now you say my time is up? Pay on the way out? What kind of psychiatrist are you? Not a very good one.'

It can't be that hard to find a legitimate criticism of Bloomberg. What a waste.

Maybe he’s got something there we don’t know... just sayin’ 🤪

My pups love that tbh 🐶

Good thing he's not a woman running for president. Definite disqualifier.

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