Owning and sharing our stories in therapy and communities can be healing.Growing up in a small town, it felt like many knew me before they met me. Word gets around quickly, and reputation spreads. Labels follow — family names, what church you go to , and who your siblings are. Yet I did not always see myself in the stories others told about me. Stories that I was 'crazy', 'troubled', and a 'problem child.
Over time, the self-limiting beliefs bent of these stories can become like bars in a prison. In acceptance and commitment therapy, we call this 'self-as-content.' It's a trap that leaves us stuck in the content of a role.It can be especially troubling when someone's story feels written for them. Narratives are often imposed on us in families. To an extent, this is normal, we can not speak in the beginning, so others speak for us. As we grow, we become who we are.
Words are framed with connotations. For example, who is to say what is manipulative vs strategic? Particularly for a child? What marks the difference between a bossy nature and a sense ofDeconstructing a harmful narrative can be tricky. Writing one's story can be a start. In psychotherapies such as narrative therapy, the telling of one's story is key. This can be through spoken word, writing, or artistic means.
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