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U.S. Vows To Invade Next Country That Asks For Covid Vaccine IP

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WASHINGTON—Declaring that they had reached a decision on their international response to the global pandemic, U.S. government officials reportedly vowed Monday to invade the next country that asks for Covid vaccine intellectual property. “We’ve heard the international community’s bitching and moaning about us forcing the pharmaceutical companies to waive their vaccine patents and frankly, we’ve had it up to here—the next one of you who voices so much as a peep about this is getting a full-scale aerial assault,” said President Joe Biden in a statement, adding that after careful consideration he urged all developing countries to keeping calling for vaccines and see how they’d like being occupied. “Listen, we’ve been really accommodating so far by politely turning down your requests for life-saving vaccine intellectual property, but that era is over. I’m only going to say this once: the next goddamn country that releases a dumbass statement whining that the U.S. is hoarding vaccine IP and doing unimaginable damage to the health of global populations is going to find itself surrounded by naval aircraft carriers so fast it’ll make your heads spin. We’ve got troops ready to deploy absolutely anywhere in the world to bomb the next country that tries to infringe on U.S. firms’ profitability back into the Stone Age.” U.S. officials added that the developing countries better think twice before getting the World Health Organization to release another statement on their behalf, because they wouldn’t think twice about invading WHO either.\n

WASHINGTON—Declaring that they had reached a decision on their international response to the global pandemic, U.S. government officials reportedly vowed Monday to invade the next country that asks for Covid vaccine intellectual property.

ul consideration he urged all developing countries to keeping calling for vaccines and see how they’d like being occupied. “Listen, we’ve been really accommodating so far by politely turning down your requests for life-saving vaccine intellectual property, but that era is over. I’m only going to say this once: the next goddamn country that releases a dumbass statement whining that the U.S.

 

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KyleKulinski Honestly at the rate this shit is going, that doesn't even seem like a joke anymore, but a real possibility.

India: *chuckles* I'm in danger

Guys you know that usa is not the only country that is producing vaccines no? You can also ask to china and Russia

Already been done. Yawn!

chenweihua He is riding on a HOT AIR balloon which will burst any time. 🤣🤣🤣

President Joe Biden:

KyleKulinski 'Invading the WHO' 🤣🤣🤣

This could be a true headline.

KyleKulinski Piratenpartei

Whatever

This is Biden's gunboat diplomacy. Cornerstone of America's rule-based order world? At times, I wonder if Biden is experiencing cognitive decline, a symptom of dementia.

VanSulli Perfect

Sleep with one eye open, Canada

Maybe he’ll break out this cold war, secret delivery system the Govt used in St Louis.

So that's why North Korea is so vocal... lol

KyleKulinski Wtf? That’s taking corporate democrat to a whole new level ain’t it?

Lmao

😆

bourgeoisalien Who stole the President's eyeballs?

Good! They deserve it!

This vaccine spray smells suspiciously like agent orange?

It's so funny, it's almost TOO real.

It’s North Korea isn’t it

I really like reading The Onion again, now that I can clearly differentiate between satire and reality in your political satire again. 😅

.DarthPutinKGB lol

🤔😄

🚩

lol very funny

Iran asked for Covid 19 vaccine IP🙃

We'd Invade them for Sneezing in our General Direction...

I guess I should start asking for vaccines 😏😏

Please be Canada, we should drone strike Canada.

U-S-A, U-S-A!!!

The Onion straight savage here.

lmfaoooooo

Instead of bombs, we’re dropping needles.

Sounds good to me

hell yeah baybeee

Can't wait to get my Drone Strike! Finally feeling like things are going back to normal.

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