NEW YORK—Taking a moment to reflect on how “the world’s most elitist bread” made its way into his current tirade, Fox News anchor Tucker Carlson paused midway through his show Thursday and expressed confusion about why he was currently 20 minutes into an irate rant against croutons.
“These overblown, liberal salad toppings represent everything that is wrong with America today—huh, what am I even talking about?” said the host of, who, after spending the better part of his broadcast warning viewers against the evils of croutons, looked straight into the camera and admitted he had no memory of shifting gears and launching into a speech about how the toasted garnish is a blatant attack on Democratic society. “I know they are an affront to this country.
Source: Entertainment Trends (entertainmenttrends.net)
zei_squirrel Carlson complains croutons don't 'assimilate' in his salad
Good ol Cucker Tarlson
zei_squirrel Why He
Lock them up ! “Croutons for Prison 2020”
Must be for a bet. You name it, he can rant about it for 20-minutes.
Wow Tucker! You really have lost it 😂
Click the article folks so the onion gets paid
This is barely a joke at this point. He's probably going to do that tomorrow.
I thought you were a satire website
I have decided that as a teenager, Tucker was bitten by a radioactive butt plug.
For once the weird grammar kind of works
“Unsure why he in” You mean, unsure why he is* in. Your last funny article was in 2017 when your last talented writer left.
timboston Tuck is a joke, I’m sure he has no idea when he sold his soul, his pride and dignity and spine.
He should rant about frozen fish.
i would rant about croutons for 20 minutes too
Give it time... I'm sure Obama will mention croutons at some point
😂😂
Damnit I bit the onion
kıtır ekmek kırmızı çizgimizdir
I've heard that both Hillary and Obama like croutons, and that Robert Mueller has been known to imbibe as well.
asiagocruton
So you’re saying he’s improving?
Easy. It's because they're brown.
That's it Final straw The man is coming for these croutons
Actually, if he blasted croutons he'd finally have some legitimacy.
Oh, I know why. They’re gross.
...liberals... socialism... deep state... stuff like that...
Yes, why he in middle? I expect better editing from the internet's 1 news provider.
Deep state food staple.
PwnySlaystation God, I wish this was real! I love croutons. Would be great if that would upset Tucker.
Liberal croutons
he's racist and thought they were an ethnic group
'Who made croutons the sole authority in delectable salad toppings? Do croutons not realize they have the potential to become soggy or stale? I say we bring other salad toppings into the conversation.'
If this was Anderson Cooper would you be attacking it?
Typically he does this shit when Trump is in a bad news cycle and the Fox News morons need something to distract them from how stupid their champion is.
Related question: What happend to the Onion lately? Did they recently lose good writers? I haven't seen anything funny from them in a while.
If only Tucker Carlson was capable of such self-awareness.
Sounds French?
God I despise headlines with no verbs.
Would probably work better with these croutons
Probably because they’re brown.
Hes a bit of a frozen fish, himself. Got that Innsmouth vibe goin on.
Omg! It's the dreaded government conspiracy to make tRump eat Moe salad. Just add croutons!
In related news, everyone else knows why.
It’s because they’re brown!! The left is pushing a pc agenda that BROWN croutons are equal to WHITE croutons!!
Muppet Carlson seems to be growing a pedo-stache, that's more disturbing than a crouton crusade.
Give him time, this will be a real thing.
Might have something to do with 'crouton' being a loan word from French.
Because they didn't use white bread?
Because once the bread is toasted, it’s no longer white.
'Don't forget that croutons were Robespierre's favorite salad topper.'
“They aren’t even American food!”
It’s funny how giant baby face, Hannity and Trump all seem like spoiled toddlers whining about how they should get more juice when the other kids haven’t got any yet. Bunch of brats.
...Bread is carbs, carbs are not keto, keto improves testosterone, therefore croutons are essentially soy and they are feminizing our young men. Now we have a guest speaker *insert neo nazi* to talk more about this issue..
CROUTONGATE!
Because he was molested by a bunch of croûtons when he was young. Wait... Did he was ever young?
Are Croutons made using metrics? We already know he has a dislike against systems that make sense.
I'm no longer sure if the crouton rant is real or part of the joke...
It’s pretty clear why! You start with something white and make it brown.
How about a coherent headline?
“CROUTONS IS BREAD RAISINS!!”
“I mean, it’s just cubes of seasoned, toasted bread!”
croutons? more like CUCKTONS. taking over the better bits of the salad with their tough alpha crunchyness.
but croutons are delicious. 😔 Oh wait...that's why.
🤣🤣
I think the nanny put lead in his TV dinners.
really scraping the bottom of the barrel for some non-covid-related news
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