‘Traumaversaries’ can be hard. Here’s how 4 sexual assault survivors honor theirs.

Sitting on the cold metal bench of an Italian police station on Nov. 12, 2008, Keri Potts had one thought: I should’ve ordered the wine and cake.

Commemorating the anniversary of trauma isn’t just symbolically meaningful; it can also be a tangible way to counteract what psychologists call Because of this, our bodies can often enter fight-or-flight mode around trauma anniversaries, said St. Cyr, who works with victims of sexual assault, child abuse and domestic abuse. She often advises clients to prepare for them in some way: Limit stress intake, automate your daily tasks and seek additional support from loved ones and therapists if possible.

Tattoos or less-permanent physical changes like haircuts can provide tangible reminders that time has passed, while also providing an opposite or different experience to the trauma, St. Cyr said. This doesn’t have to be a change of appearance; it can be as simple as rearranging some furniture or going to see a new movie that didn’t exist at the time of your assault, she added.

Marking your calendar can serve as a reminder to be gentle on yourself, put coping plans in place and reach out for extra support, St. Cyr said. “Be patient with yourself. It can feel like each of these times is a setback, but really, each time it’s your body trying to heal through it,” she added. “And so whatever you can do during those times to work through them can help you for the next time.”

I bought a diamond ring with my malpractice $$. Call it my 'survivor's award'. 🧏🏽‍♀️

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