This Painful Salon Experience Pushed Me to Confront My Hair Trauma

, a platform in which Allure will explore every facet of a melanin-rich life — from the most innovative treatments for hyperpigmentation to the social and emotional realities — all while spreading Black pride.and daydream about my childhood blowouts. My mother is a wonderful heavy-handed woman, whodoing my thick, tangly hair, so she’d drop me off at our local salon every two weeks. Our stylist would place a wooden box on a vinyl salon chair so her hands could work their magic.

Here’s where I went wrong: Instead of going to one of the three Black salons in my Brooklyn neighborhood, I fished through my closet to unearth a gift certificate from a nationwide blowout emporium. This was a gamble, but it was going to be free, and several Black influencers shared positive experiences on YouTube. As I wrote a long paragraph in an online booking system explaining my natural hair and need for a Black stylist, I thought "a Black stylist will shield me from anything bad.

“It absolutely is appropriate to use the word 'trauma' to describe the experiences Black women have had with regard to their hair.” Afiya Mbilishaka, an assistant professor of psychology and a researcher at the University of the District of Columbia who examines hair discrimination, says while many people have positive family and community experiences, internalized texturism can impact how we treat one another.

Straight hair is irrevocably tangled with respectability politics, and these long standing attitudes make it clear why a stylist might shake her head when you show up with dry, damaged natural hair or why your grandmother might ask you to get a relaxer. A survey from thefound that, while most people who identify as women experience some anxiety about their hair, Black women report higher levels of hair anxiety.

"Some hair traumas are intergenerational, passed down from generation to generation like warped heirlooms."

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