It might get a laugh, but it’s pretty played out by now.“I swallowed the gun and you will never find it.”Unfortunately there are many ways to extract a gun from a stomach.List slidesWhile this is a complex and nuanced take, you’re still holding the murder weapon.Advertisement“I’m under arrest? No, you’re under arrest!”While citizens’ arrests are fine and good, at least wait until the interrogation is done to avoid suspicion.
They know you’re not a German shepherd and pretending to be will only add “imposter” to their list of accusations.They know you’re not a German shepherd and pretending to be will only add “imposter” to their list of accusations.“If you open my trunk and find the body of someone, I’ve never met him.”This also goes for the guy buried under the bridge, the guy thrown in the river, and the guy chopped up in a garbage can outside your house.
“I swallowed the gun and you will never find it.”
'I did it' probably tops that list
Things you should always say, according to kathleenmadigan's Dad, Jack: 'I do not recall. I need an attorney.'
Oh yeah? Well, what if I did do it? Huh? Huh?
But officer, I *am* Gavrilo Princip.
I'm sorry, but imma take my chances with 'oops'. Rarely holds up on a court means it is possible to hold up.
I just got tricked into a slide show (the real joke of this article). Did I just wake up in 2010?
'How's your wife?'
'If I did do it'
Now, now, let’s hear the guy out.
1: “I don’t need a lawyer. I will represent myself.”
citsecurities jpmorgan WellsFargo BankofAmerica
Breaking news, factory shifts it's main ingredient supplier from the cattle farm to H.R. They are resources after all.
We definitely need the Babylon Bee back.
Gavrilo Princip was a lying SOB, I stand by my 98 year old alibi
'HEY, can i go back and pick up my cig butt right quick?!
Yeah, I did it. And I’d do it again!
I couldn't have done it. I was working the lights on set for Snuff Maniacs XXI...I mean Frozen III.
'But the boys double dared me bro'
“Ah common, can’t anybody take a joke?”
It’s a fair cop
'Of course i wasn't buying a kilo of coke at that time. I was too busy murdering my neighbors for shorting me on the kilo i bought from them.'
:(
I knew I should have called it quits last time.
I don't understand why this is a problem. I've done it loads of times before
Can I call OJ ?
'my bad.'
baba booey
It's almost 'Shut the fuck up Friday'
'I'm black'
very timely pornoy-looking photo lol
'I did it' is usually top of that list
Too straightforward.
Remember that when they say 'You have the right to remain silent. Do you understand?' The only way to show that you truly understand is to remain silent.
1: I did it! 🧐😁
These two would like a word.
I want a mulligan
“You’re too chicken to use that baton on me.”
A peeping Tom? Well it was your grandmother that left her curtains open..
Lawyering up
Also - can I bring my blinky?
Imposter?! SUS?!
I’m making a citizens arrest... as soon as I’m out of these handcuffs.
Suuus
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sus
Amogus
Sus
Sounds like something a Christian or an insurrectionist would say.
Hy Onion! What's your Opinion..?
Similar to what I tell people who accuse me of continually making the same mistake: 'But what about all the women I didn't marry?'
I'd find the image more believable if it was a guy in an expensive suit...
Wasn't that Trump's reelection 2020 platform?
What’s bad about incest though 😐
'It was just a prank bro'
Can I have my filleting knife back?
Hello police detective man. I am Criminal J. Culprit, Professional Crime-Doer.
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