The Woman Whose Older Lover Doesn’t Want Kids

Illustration: by Marylu E. Herrera This week, a woman sneaks around with a work contact who everyone says is wrong for her but whom she may be in love with: 31, in a relationship, Brooklyn.8 a.m. No one at work knows about my “boyfriend.” We haven’t officially used that term around each other, but I call him that to myself and my friends. I work in biotech, and he used to be a client at my job — he was someone with a lot of money who hired my team for a project.

6 p.m. Citi Bike home to Cobble Hill and pick up sushi on the way. I live by myself, and the nights I’m not with my boyfriend, I like to read, watch TV, and relax. 9 p.m. We’re enjoying some steak-frites when I tell Boyfriend that I want to freeze my eggs. He is very supportive and asks all the right questions about the procedure and the doctor; he even asks if I need help paying for it. But it bothers me a bit that he doesn’t suggest that maybe we have kids together someday. He has already told me he never wanted them, so I know I’m asking for something he can’t give me. But … now I just have all these voices in my head warning me against him.11 p.m.

9 p.m. I text Boyfriend that I’m watching a show called I Love That for You. It’s very funny. I tell him I’m laughing my ass off. He writes back, “I Love That for You.” I giggle. It gives me goose bumps to see the word love come through in a text from him. So my boyfriend is not paying me. It’s not transactional like that. It feels pretty normal and traditional to me. He’s self-made and quite wealthy, and I don’t make a ton of money, so he’s always happy to give me some. He can spare the cash and he’s not weird about it, and neither am I. Only me and the hairdresser seem to see no harm in the situation.

7 p.m. Feeling like a million bucks, I get on the train to see my man. I see that I missed a call from the nurse while I was in the shower. For some reason, I feel resentful that she soured my mood for the night, even though she didn’t do or say anything. It was just a missed call. 9:30 p.m. We end up kissing outside the restaurant and going our own ways. He says something like, “It seems like you have a lot to think about.” I hate that it’s all on me. Why can’t it be him who has to think about changing his ways? Why is it always the woman who has to compromise?

She clearly doesn’t respect his boundaries. Can I dm for his contact info? He seems nice

Lol. -- Husbands I mean yes, of course. --Husbands

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