The Woman So Sick of Screens She Can’t Watch Porn

Photo-Illustration: James Gallagher This week, a mom who has couch sex at her friend’s empty house in the Hamptons, hoping the nanny cams are off: 45, in a relationship, Morningside Heights.9:00 a.m. It’s my birthday so my boyfriend let me sleep in late. We have a toddler so waking up after 6:30 a.m. is a luxury. I turn 45 today. There’s not much celebrating to do, but that’s okay. I’m not really into birthdays anyway.

8:30 p.m. I tell him I’m getting into bed to read. He gives me that look. I say, “If you want to make love, just tell me.” We both crack up laughing because I said “make love.” He follows me into the bedroom and we have quick, nice-enough sex — about ten minutes. I don’t come but usually I do, so it’s not an issue.8:00 a.m. My daughter is playing with my boyfriend’s iPhone and I see a WhatsApp message from a woman with a lips emoji.

11:00 p.m. My boyfriend crawls into bed with me and says he wants to fuck. I put on a little bit of lube and we have sex. It’s not the best sex ever for me, but I always love the kissing part if nothing else.3:00 p.m. I have a lot of work today so I haven’t seen much of my family. I know my boyfriend is drained from child care today but it is what it is right now. Does he resent that I’m a “successful” doctor and he’s still trying to get businesses off the ground? No.

9:15 p.m. He’s home. I push him onto our bed and climb on top of him. I ride his body really hard until I come. He finishes shortly after. It was really, really good sex. Thank you, Hulu!9:00 a.m. We’ve piled up the car to stay at my friend’s house in the Hamptons for a week. They’ve moved onto a farm in Vermont. It’s a little stressful packing up the car since we don’t want to make any stops for food or bathroom.

Ewwwe. She needs a psychiatrist. Although, that may require zoom.

Well use your imagination and stop whining

well that sounds like a serious problem .

Same

Don’t pitch me bad stories about COVID19 the editors said. Shame on you for being tone-deaf they said.

🤮

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