Look, animals are weird. If you are privileged enough to work remotely during this time, or if you are self-isolating with a beloved pet, they’re probably acting especially kooky.recently or otherwise. Pictures will be honored and awarded, of course.But before all that, let’s look at last week’s winners. These are the most unsettling things you’ve everYears ago I was at family Italian place in my hometown enjoying some cheese ravioli with a friend.
They were talking calmly and completely ignoring the fact that their kid was smashing plates in the middle of a restaurant. A manager appeared and tried to talk to the girl and block her from grabbing more plates... she ignored him and grabbed some knives and cups and began throwing them at the people in the nearby tables. People were screaming and ducking and getting up from those tables and running to the other side of the room.
FINALLY, her parents noticed? cared? decided to prevent a murder? Her mom lazily called to her to come sit down, which did not work, so her dad wandered over to her and asked “where did you get these plates?” and “would you like some dessert? I bet they have ice cream!” while she continued to try to throw things. He made no effort to restrain or reprimand her. The manager stared at him, stupefied, for a minute, and then asked them to leave.
After they left, we all just stared at each other for a minute like... “did that just happen?” The restaurant tried to clean up the mess and we all got some free tiramisu.This was many years ago but I have never, and never shall, forget it. I went to a fro-yo place called Checkers and the cashier had very bad cystic acne. As I was paying, I saw thin rivulets of pus streaming from one of the larger zits, which had burst.
Oh man, I just thought of an even worse one! I went into the bathroom of Perkins and it looked like someone had thrown a bag of Hershey’s kisses into a wood chipper. There was shit on the floor AND the ceiling. It was the second worst thing I’ve ever smelled in my life. I left and told the hostess and she squeezed her eyes shut tightly and said “It’s only my second goddamn day”.
I give that relationship six meownths.
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