Mizrahi was troubled by the way that Sharon spoke about Kan. “Admiration is good, it’s healthy, it’s motivating,” she later wrote her in an e-mail, but not when we “lose sight of who we are.” Mizrahi sensed that it wasn’t Kan’s personality to which Sharon was drawn but the fact that he “embodied this art form, and she had to make sacrifices to continue gaining knowledge from her mentor.” At the end of the visit, as Sharon stood at Mizrahi’s door, she suddenly took a lighter tone.
Sharon’s parents flew to Copenhagen and took her back to Miami. A few weeks later, Kan wrote Sharon an e-mail clarifying the terms of their relationship: “My love has limitation, we only can share the creation on the stage.” In Miami, Sharon saw a psychiatrist, who gave her a diagnosis of depression and prescribed her an antidepressant and an antipsychotic, but she took the medications inconsistently.
Kan told Sharon that she needed to focus on her recovery and could not perform with him until she was stable. “If you don’t want me anymore—on any level, don’t feel you owe me anything,” she wrote him in an e-mail. “You’ve given me so much already.” In her journal, she wrote that she needed to “accept the inevitable truth that nothing lasts.”
In April, 2012, Sharon decided at the last minute to fly alone to Fortaleza, Brazil, for a Butoh workshop, though Kan had urged her not to go without a friend. Once there, she wrote Kan with a question: “Yesterday came up with the idea that butoh is about deconstructing body/ego, etc.” She added, “So the question arises what happensthe deconstruction of your body/mind/ego?” Kan responded by telling her that “Butoh is not just simply deconstruction body/ego, etc.
Sharon wrote in her journal, “Am I really a Butoh dancer or is this the ultimate in seeking validation and support from the outside?”Kan has never been to Florida. At first, he tried to ignore the case. But, he said, other Butoh dancers told him, “You need to fight this. It’s not good for the art form.”
He asked Stern why he let Sharon travel to Brazil, shortly before her death. “You are the one who protect her, not me.” Wrongful-death cases often turn into a battle between experts, and Kan didn’t have the money to challenge the testimony of Tibor’s expert, Eli Levy, the psychologist who treated Sharon before she died. Levy, who had seen Sharon for fourteen sessions, acknowledged that, initially, Kan had helped her to “believe in herself, to express herself . . . to see how beautiful she was in the inside and outside.
Never trust stories that begin with a quote from a parent. They’re typically the least qualified people to talk about the person at issue.
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