Back in 1986, when they got pregnant with me, my parents were having very different conversations from the ones I’m having with my partner now. I wore lace to their wedding that year, draped in my mother’s elegant maternity gown. My father wore an ivory pinstripe suit and fedora, markings of the business boom time that it was. By the end of the decade, privatization, free markets and consumerism would spread like wildfire. Unregulated capitalism blanketed the world.
As I write this, I’m 33, the same age my mom was when she had me, and there are plenty of reasons why the decision to reproduce, if one is fortunate enough to have autonomy over their decision, is different now than it was for her: the disappearance of job security, the creeping disintegration of many democracies, and the fact that my generation is the first in modern history not to do better than our parents.
When I described this concern to Sebastian, it unlocked a deeper dilemma — to have or not have kids as a source of deeper meaning and purpose. He said, “Why do people have kids? Is it because of the kid? No. You don’t know them. You’re having kids for selfish reasons, largely. Imagine if we don’t have kids and one of us dies. The other one will be completely, utterly lost. If we have a kid, there will be a sense of a family and meaning from knowing you exist for another person beyond yourself.
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