Photo: Yannis Drakoulidis/Netflix Back in 2008, Betty Draper, Mad Men’s long-suffering wife and everyone’s favorite “unlikeable mother,” stormed up the stairs after her husband, hollering, “I’m here all day, alone with them. Outnumbered.” The line didn’t hit me then, but over a decade later, trapped at home with a toddler and an infant while COVID-19 raged into yet another wave, her words came flooding back to me.
It feels like a gamble each time I tell another mom about this feeling, sometimes met with blank stares and sometimes with relieved recognition.
But the more I’ve thought about it, the less I’m able to recognize myself. Elena’s plate smashing comes at the end of her day alone with four children, one of whom is screaming and refusing to breastfeed, forcing her to go to the store with the entire brood to get formula only to discover the water has been turned off unexpectedly.
And maybe that’s it, the true mom rage we deserve to see: the small, everyday moments that don’t build up to anything specific, just a gradual erosion of the myth of the patient, doting mother. A myth that the pandemic has shown us we’ve all relied on for far too long. A myth that perpetuates the unhelpful takeaway that a few days of child care, some self-care time, or a more supportive spouse could save mothers from their rage.
Yeah I don’t think that “mom rage” is an unfamiliar concept to literally anyone who grew up with a mother.
Just because it can give birth doesn’t mean it’s cut out to be a mother.
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