The Onion Has Used The Funds From Its Click Drive To Purchase A Jet Ski

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 25 sec. here
  • 13 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 51%
  • Publisher: 51%

Click News

Jet Ski,The Onion,Point And Click

CHICAGO—As a capstone to a record-breaking day for the internationally recognized brand’s views and advertising revenue, The Onion released a statement Wednesday confirming that it had used all of the funds raised from its annual Click Drive to purchase a Yamaha WaveRunner VX series.

“Following a massive haul that produced nearly 15 trillion pageviews and exponentially increased click-through rates, The Onion ’s editorial board has approved the purchase from a motivated seller of a used Yamaha Jet Ski in good condition,” the statement read in part, describing the recreational watercraft as a “blast to handle out on the lake” and noting that its waterproof sound system even allowed riders to blast Eric Church or Luke Combs albums...

jumping waves. “We’ve already hosted a retreat for members of the executive team, and everyone had a lot of fun out there, cracking open Miller Lites and just drinking in the sunshine. And remember, this is all because of readers like you. So thank you. You made this possible. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” At press time, The Onion had rapidly launched a second Click Drive after a small unnoticed hole in the Jet Ski’s hull caused it to sink only a few hours into use.

Jet Ski The Onion Point And Click Video Games Developed In Japan Luke Combs Personal Watercraft Tor Waverunner Yamaha Corporation VX The Onion

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.
We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in US

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

The Onion's Annual Click Drive: Save Journalism from Its DemiseParticipate in The Onion's annual Click Drive to help slow the demise of the media industry. Spend a few minutes clicking through articles, columns, infographics, slideshows, and videos on TheOnion.com.
Source: TheOnion - 🏆 724. / 51 Read more »

Columbus Drive could become Barack Obama Drive under proposed ordinanceA City Council member wants to rename Columbus Drive in downtown Chicago after former President Barack Obama, but an Italian American civic leader wants the…
Source: nbcchicago - 🏆 545. / 51 Read more »

Columbus Drive could become Barack Obama Drive under proposed ordinanceA City Council member wants to rename Columbus Drive in downtown Chicago after former President Barack Obama, but an Italian American civic leader wants the street to be left alone.
Source: fox32news - 🏆 547. / 51 Read more »

Chicago alderman calls for renaming Columbus Drive as Barack Obama DriveAlderman calls for renaming Columbus Drive as Barack Obama Drive
Source: cbschicago - 🏆 546. / 51 Read more »

New ordinance would rename ‘Columbus Drive’ to ‘Barack Obama Drive’The downtown Chicago street Columbus Drive could be renamed Barack Obama Drive in a new City Council effort. Ald. Lamont Robinson, 4th, introduced an ordinance Wednesday to rename the roadway. The …
Source: chicagotribune - 🏆 8. / 91 Read more »

Second crash in less than 24 hours on Soutel Drive at Clyde DriveOn Monday night, a woman died after she was hit by three cars at the intersection. Tuesday, when First Coast News was on scene, another crash happened.
Source: FCN2go - 🏆 523. / 51 Read more »