The Man Sneaking Around on His Partner to Meet Other Girls

Photo-Illustration: James Gallagher This week, a man compulsively fantasizing about other women while avoiding having sex with his partner: 38, in a relationship, Brooklyn.8 a.m. I can’t remember a time I’ve ever woken up without an erection. It’s just there. But today, maybe for the first time ever, it isn’t. Did I get up early and go to the bathroom? Did it fade over time this morning? I also cannot remember the last time Nathalie and I had sex. We’ve lived together for three years.

8 p.m. Nathalie goes to bed and I get a DM from my internet girlfriend, whom I’ve never met. We met on Instagram. I miss who I am when I’m flirting. I have some wine and we watch the same movie. I like having someone to talk to.8 a.m. Again I wake up limp. I miss my morning erection. In my 20s I went through this period where I started dating “older” women. Meaning people who are my age now.

10 p.m. She’s in my DMs again — my internet girlfriend. She wants to know if I’d like to have her number.9:30 a.m. Can I just say that as a person who does not watch pornography that porn websites are really weird? I’m trying them out. Nathalie has an early meeting and so I try one of the websites. From a content perspective the titles are out of control. I feel about 300 years old.

9 p.m. My internet girlfriend drops the following hints: She has COVID antibodies, and she keeps coming up with restaurants near her that she thinks I will like. She sends me a playlist of songs that a cool 20-something would know. All the songs are about being young and horny and free.11 a.m. I’m going out of town for a work-related trip today, just an hour upstate, so I get a rapid COVID test. They take my blood pressure at the same time and the doc says, “Your blood pressure is super high.

This was a real sad read...

Well this is fucking tragic.

Just stop. You didn't invent sex. We don't want to hear it.

Why don't you just leave. 😎

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