Think back to the last time you took public transportation. What were most people doing? If it’s anything like the planes, trains, buses, and subways I ride , people probably generally kept to themselves. Whether working or scrolling through a mundane social media feed on their smartphones, most people I observe are simply in their own little world. But what if you were forced to interact with strangers?at the University of Chicago conducted a series of experiments to test this very question.
Epley and his colleagues found that participants: assumed that starting conversations would be more difficult than ending them; expected that only a small percentage of people would be willing to talk to them; and had uncertainty about others’ interest or willingness to engage in conversation. These assumptions created aof being rejected or being perceived as impolite; yet, the study participants discovered the exact opposite in all three respects.
Unfortunately, these assumptions are likely to be self-fulfilling: Believing that others are unwilling to connect keeps you from trying and thus learning that many strangers are actually open to having conversations. The pandemic doesn’t make this easier, and safety and personal distancing rules matter.Personally, talking to strangers has made my life better in ways I never anticipated. Most of my talking-to-strangers interactions happen when I’m traveling, particularly with cab drivers.
Traffic in Los Angeles can be a nightmare, but my Uber driver and I passed the time talking about our mutual love of music and singing Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On.” One NYC cab driver told me about how he had previously owned several Subway restaurants. His parents died within a month of each other, and he was overcome by
if you dont know someone you should not attempt a conversation with that person
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