The Greatest Mother’s Day Gift Is A Day Off

. The pain they experienced, which catapulted me into motherhood, is never far from my mind. It’s impossible to ignore the second Sunday in May. Still, I rally for my kids who want to celebrate with me. I’ve accepted the wilted carnations at church with a tight smile. I absolutely tear up when I am plied with homemade crafts and plant clippings rooted in Dixie cups. I love these kids with everything in me and eagerly accept their offerings.

At the same time, I’m worn down and just a little more frayed around the edges year by year. I didn’t know some kids don’t actually ever really “sleep through the night.” I’ve cobbled together incomplete childcare while working from my pocket at the playground, a skill I can list on my resume now. I amSo when my own mother — who has shown up to save me from drowning in either diapers or my own despair on more days than I can count — offered to take my kids for Mother’s Day weekend, I said yes.

Whatever I decide to do with those few precious days will be amazing, but it isn’t the point. The point is that after a decade of mothering I do not need to feel guilty about claiming some time for myself or taking the best gift I’ve been given for this complicated holiday. It does not mean that I love my kids less, that I am less grateful for them, or that I won’t miss them while they are gone.

I can’t wait for those sweaty, bug-spray scented hugs upon their return to me — ready for a shower and an early bedtime. Decades from now my kids will not remember the Mother’s Day without their mom; this I know to be true. They will remember the campfires with their cousins and the fish they caught. They will remember racing bikes around campground loops and licking fingers sticky from s’mores.

I hope they also remember the time their mom took a few moments to herself and, through that, learn how to care for their future selves, too.. is a journalist and essayist based in Pittsburgh, PA. She’s a mom to four kids via adoption as well as a twin mom. She loves to write about parenting, education, trends, and the general hilarity of raising little people. Follow her on

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