The funniest thing I heard this week wasn’t actually a Tweet or a joke at a show. My wife and I were winding down for the night, enjoying a legal-in-California jazz cigarette and talking about our week. She confessed that because of how dark the news has gotten she’s taken a break from reading everything but her Google alerts about shark attacks. I said “but honey, you’re terrified of sharks. Why would you intentionally subject yourself to stories about an increasing number of shark attacks.
Fucked up how you can take shrooms to get a permanent buff to Openness but you can’t like rail a bunch of Ritalin and end up permanently better at adding things to your calendarPeople who say I’m lame just cuz I’ve never tried cocaine and I don’t smoke weed are honestly being so unfair to how much I drink.Please sign my petition to change the name of a MMF threesome to Manwhich.
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