'The fullness of time': Jacob Wideman confronts his fate

When we talk about prison, we inevitably talk about time: “doing time,” or “serving time.” It’s as if time were “a commodity like money that can be spent, earned, lost, owed, or stolen,” Jacob Wideman’s father, John Edgar Wideman, reflected in “Brothers and Keepers,” his 1984 memoir about the life sentence of his younger brother, who was convicted of second-degree murder. But of course, you can’t take people’s time away. You can only make it more painful, more solitary, more slow.

Now, more than six years after he was brought back to prison, he has lost that destination. That checkered flag, flapping just past the horizon. And time just…passes. The board, of course, said it did no such thing. The board’s executive director declined to speak with me about it, because the case is ongoing, but in court filings, they said they followed all the rules, and that Jake’s “disappointment with the outcome of the second revocation hearing is not a basis for a due process claim.”I've lost sleep over this. It upsets my sense of—it calls into question everything I understand and believe in about the system.

Dr. McCaine texted me in April. He wrote, “Episode 6 was a reminder of how incensed I was about his parole officer who had no interest in Jake’s well-being as far as therapy and was simply looking for any excuse to violate him. I continue to regret how I was used in this disingenuous display of concern for Jake's transitional mental health needs.”So it's one thing to dispute an opinion, we're used to that in forensics. Experts have different opinions.

All I have to do is kick ass and, and, and, and make noise and, and maybe the time will go faster or maybe this time doesn't even exist or maybe I can end it. But it doesn't end.

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