I am struggling when it comes to raising my 6-year-old stepdaughter with our “village.” She splits time between us , her mom, her paternal aunt, and her paternal grandparents. I truly believe it takes a village to raise a child and in many ways, I am grateful for the love, support, time, and energy everyone provides. However, there is inconsistency and lack of cohesion between her different homes when it comes to rules and expectations.
When she is with the others, she is consistently put in the front seat of the car. They know this is both illegal and unsafe , but culturally, they seem to accept it as something they’ve always done and that is therefore OK. I have gently talked to them about it, more than once, and then they’ll stop for a while, but soon they’re back to their old habit.
Your sister will get defensive, sure, if you “bring up” her sons’ behavior. And it’s not your job to police her parenting. But if you hate being around her kids, you’re better off being honest with her. Tell her you find them exhausting. Tell her that at their age, it’s too much for you. Tell her you hope that it’ll be easier once they’re a little older.
I know this is not the advice you wanted. I know what you think you want is guidance on how to make your husband do more. Or maybe even reassurance that if you end your marriage—the way you do in your dreams—your rage will subside and you and your kids will be better off. Where Did the Royals Go So Wrong With Kate Middleton? It’s Been Years in the Making.I’m a High School Teacher. Here’s How the Parents of My Students Make It Impossible for Them to Focus.
But if you want to stay in this marriage, the two of you will need help as a couple, too. I don’t know if he can or will take on what you need him to take on. I don’t know if he literally “refuses” or “just” avoids doing what you ask him to do when it comes to your younger child. Have you told him how desperate you feel? Are the two of you communicating at all ? Can you see a way to open up a channel of communication about the real stuff? A marriage counselor might help a lot.
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