The Dangers of Sexual Gaslighting

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Sexual gaslighters use lies and threats to control a partner’s sexuality and manipulate them into consenting to risky or uncomfortable acts. Recognizing this abuse is the first step to stopping it.

, and executed in power-laden intimate relationships” . Sexual gaslighting, therefore, is the psychological and abusive manipulation of another person for the purpose of getting them to question their reality around a sexual situation.Sexual gaslighting, at its foundation, is about power. It’s about controlling the sexual narrative and the sexuality of the person being victimized. The primary goal is for the gaslighter to get their victim to doubt their sexual reality.

Despite it not being something she desired or would consider, she passed it off as a possibility as she was drunk and may have acted differently in that state. She began to think that maybe she had, in fact, asked for it. With each proceeding occurrence, the gaslighting became easier as her reality was reshaped by the thought that if she had asked for it in the past, perhaps she had done it again.

Beyond the goal of reframing reality, a gaslighter is quick to dismiss the feelings or concerns of their partner, and if the gaslighting is a conscious behavior, there will be no apologies offered. The gaslighter will also limit discussion on their partner’s side. The more the victim talks, the greater the chance they will talk themselves into a pattern of logic and come to an accurate conclusion other than the gaslit reality.

 

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