The Charming Chaos and Searing Realness of This Way Up on Hulu

: A 30s-ish woman on the brink of a breakdown attempts to sort out her life and career in awkward ways, using wry, sharp humor as a mask over deep emotional pain. And for some of us, it is a searing reflection.

In this version of what has proven to be a darkly winning formula, Bea’s Áine is introduced as coming straight out of rehab for a deep depression that left her suicidal. Her protective older sister Shona arrives to take her home, and the two immediately define themselves as an inseparable pair; they fuss, rib each other, and are absolutely each other’s anchor. Shona is confident with Áine that she will be fine, but turns back to the the nurse with an implied ”...

In the first season, Áine returns to her job as an English-as-a-second-language teacher, where she gets extra work tutoring a young French boy who recently lost his mother and was sent to London live with his biological father Richard —a man who previously didn’t even know he existed. Áine’s constant gabbing and inherent playfulness allows Étienne to open up, but it also catches the eye of his quiet and seemingly humorless father.

All the while, Áine continues to battle the darkness that sent her to rehab in the first place, but it usually happens in quiet moments. She gets uninvited from a party and pretends she has alternate plans, telling Shona she needs to get ready at her house—even though it’s just an excuse to not be alone for awhile. When she has a personal setback she falls into old destructive habits, and laughs off an ex’s bad behavior as a way to brace herself to leave his place without crying.

That finale also concludes with mentions of a lockdown, entering into what we know was a sad, confusing real-life timespan of forced introspection. If there is a Season 3, hopefully it jumps beyond that first wave to see Áine on the other side, where she wants to be, and where she belongs. Or at the very least, continuing to fight her way up.Paste Magazine.

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