The recent marking of the 80th anniversary of D-Day has had me thinking a lot about my father. Dad had served as a lieutenant in the Canadian navy and was truly representative of the “Greatest Generation,” those men and women who weathered the Great Depression of the 1930s, only to be called to fight for our freedom in the Second World War. He was a man of great integrity — hardworking, ethical and honest. But, like so many men of his generation, he struggled with expressing emotion.
My therapist and I role-played scenarios. I would practice saying, “Dad, I love you.” She threw back every possible negative reaction then counseled me to hold up my hand if he objected and say, “I just wanted you to know. It might not be important to you, but it is important for me to tell you this.” If necessary, I was to leave the room to give him time to digest this offensive declaration.
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