'The Bachelor' Premiere Was So Boring I Literally Fell Asleep

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During the premiere of ABC's Season 27 of 'The Bachelor,' Zach Shallcross meets the 30 — mostly white — women who will vie for his heart

We got through about four introductions of women in sparkling floor-length gowns before the obligatory gimmicks began. Davia, 25, from Charleston, South Carolina, brought champagne for an early toast. Vanessa, 23, a restaurant marketer from Baton Rouge, came in swinging Mardi Gras beads from her arm. A 25-year-old brought maple syrup from Vermont. Zach took a sip and hated it because, of course, he hates maple syrup, of all things.

Cat Carter could be fun for us. From the jump, she brought a sort of chaotic energy that might actually wake Zach up a little. She’s a 26-year-old who billed herself as a dancer from New York but appears to be mostly professionally hot. She did some kind of a New York “I’m walkin’ here” Italian schtick, despite the fact that her Backstage.com resume says she is half Irish, half Chinese.

Brianna also rules. She’s a politician, and I’m voting for her. One of just a few Black women on the show, Brianna, 24, from New Jersey, won “America’s First Impression Rose” on a TV appearance ahead of the season. For night one, she showed up in a rose-red gown, the picture of poise and grace. She told Zach that speaking with him “reinvigorated” her, a word he took a moment to process.

When all the women were finally out of the limousines and into the mansion, it was time for Zach to take charge. He walked into the living area — which viewers can always count on to look like a candlelit Pier One showroom — with the women all crammed around a big sectional sofa. He said they were all beautiful – “Holy [bleep],” he gushed, with all the game ofBut almost as soon as he started talking, I felt my eyelids get heavy. He simply isn’t charismatic enough to command a room on his own.

Unfortunately, multiple people, including our lead, referred to themselves in the third person throughout the night, which was horrifying: “Greer is bold,” “Zach is just a regular dude.” It was all pretty upsetting. Greer got Zach’s first impression rose, though, so unfortunately, we could be in for more of that nonsense.

 

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I'd want White women too.

Why does RS even cover this trash reality tv culture crap? Just drop the fluff.

‘The Bachelor’ being a dumb show that airs in a — mostly white — country.

Not even a good show

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