The alternative Valentine's Day dining guide for last-minute lovers

The Boiling Crab may test your relationship more than any other restaurant in the city — in a good way. First, there’s the wait. Regardless of the Boiling Crab location , you’re looking at a good hour, maybe 90 minutes. Once you get a table, you’ll need to put on a bib.

When the food comes, you’ll be presented with plastic bags full of crab, shrimp, sausage and whatever else you decided to throw in there, all in a spicy red sauce with plenty of garlic, if you order the Whole Shebang. The sauce will be on your chin, in your hair and your eyes and on your hands. You will use at least half a pack of napkins in an attempt to look presentable. And when you leave, you will both reek of garlic. The entire ordeal, including the wait, will be exhausting.

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