The 2 Most Important Words to Embrace

. You can feel both devastated by a relationship’s end and confident that ending it was the right decision.In addition to making room for multiple emotions, both/and makes room for multiple people’s experiences, regardless of whose is “worse.” Instead of downplaying our experience because somebody else has it worse, , both/and says that both of you can feel what you feel and there is room for everybody’s pain.

In an either/or world, the mother with access to childcare should only feel gratitude and contentment because after all, there are single mothers out there working two jobs. But pain and suffering are not pie. There is room for both women’s struggles without comparison. Somebody else’s cancer does not make your flu less difficult; it just means that somebody else has cancer. They are both true and can coexist without one lessening the other.

If you’ve consistently employed either/or thinking, both/and will require time and intentionality to adopt. It will require a conscious moment of asking yourself things like:“Is it possible that this other person’s pain doesn’t mean I have to be ok right now?”But you may just notice that this permission from yourself will feel oddly like relief.

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This was a great article. It is being conscience of multiple emotions you are feeling derived from different circumstances. Perhaps this could be a great coping skill that could be used in counseling because you will not just be concentrating on the bad.

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