The horniest men in literature aren’t necessarily the ones having the most sex; they’re just the ones who think about it the most. They tend to obsess, to fantasize, and to think with their dicks rather than other body parts. Love them or hate them, these men remind us that horniness can be a defining character trait used for good — but mostly for evil.If the protagonist of Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me” was a scholar with a ton of unpaid child support, he’d be Nino Sarratore.
Here, in one of the greatest moments in literature, we have our young hero fucking an apple : “‘Oh shove it in me, Big Boy,’ cried the cored apple that I banged silly on that picnic. ‘Big Boy, Big Boy, oh give me all you’ve got,’ begged the empty milk bottle that I kept hidden in our storage bin in the basement, to drive wild after school with my vaselined upright.
* Note: Sweet Valley Confidential portrays Bruce as an adult who is kind and considerate. This is a heretical move and therefore anyone who considers the adult Sweet Valley book to be canon is a total boner killer.
RealChalamet 😍
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